Chapter 25

In This Chapter

>- Yoguys! > Yokids!

Yoga fun is all in the family!

Don't worry, we haven't forgotten the rest of you who don't happen to be women between adolescence and the golden years. People of all ages and both sexes can be yogis, and each group has its unique characteristics and problems. If the "For Women Only" chapter didn't happen to be directed at you, we hope you'll feel not only included but warmly welcomed in this chapter.

This chapter includes yoga adventures for all members of the family—the whole clan! Whether you practice yoga individually or together, it is an invaluable way to bring all family members—girls, guys, moms, dads, kids, whoever makes up the family you love—peace, health, and joy.

This section is for all you guys out there. Sure, we know lots of you have enrolled in yoga classes, and lots more are wondering what it's all about. Lots more of you, however, are probably just a little suspicious. We hope that so far, many of your questions have been answered, but here are a few more things to think about—you know ... guy stuff.

Mucho Macho

Isn't Yoga for "Chicks"?

Maybe you've picked up this book because yoga interests you, but you just aren't sure yoga is a "guy thing." Isn't it sort of like home economics class or going to the ballet? Granted, if you took a survey today, you would probably find that in any given city,

there are more women taking yoga classes than men. For some reason, women seem to be more comfortable taking exercise classes. But the imbalance is quickly shifting. Why should women get all the fitness benefits of yoga? And why should men miss out on the camaraderie and guided instruction of a class? And why should anyone miss out on the mental clarity and inner peace yoga can offer?

Many men throughout history have devoted their lives to becoming sagacious yogis, and today, many of the major schools of yoga—Iyengar Yoga, Sivananda Yoga, Bikram's Yoga—were started by men. So why not practice yoga? It can only make you healthier, stronger, and more flexible. The next time that important woman in your life suggests that you ought to get into yoga, give it a try!

Where's the Team?

You guys who've left that locker-room attitude back in high school gym class can skip ahead to the flexibility section. But let's face it: A lot of guys are very comfortable being athletic in a team situation. Football teams, basketball teams, baseball teams, hockey teams, soccer teams—these are all familiar scenarios for the average American guy. Two teams compete, and one of them wins. No wonder yoga seems a little strange and unfamiliar. No team, no points, no scoring method ... and no winner is proclaimed and carried around on everyone's shoulders. Heck, there isn't even a coach on the sidelines you can pour your cooler of water over when the workout is done!

Or so it would seem. Think of it this way: You and everyone else in your yoga class, or your circle of friends and family, or even the world, are a team. You're all seeking a common goal: fitness, happiness, and eventually, self-actualization.

Who's the other team? Let's rephrase that: What's the other team? The other team is a surly bunch of characters: self-doubt, negative thoughts, jealousy, hate, violence, illness, pain, and suffering. Formidable opponents! But your team can beat them, and it's up to you to set an example for your team members. Follow yoga's principles, practice the exercises, learn deep breathing, even try meditation. You'll be learning about yourself and learning how to live in the world, too, which is really the same as learning how to be a great team player.

And if you are a yoga dad, yoga can enhance the most important team in your life— your family.

But How Do You Win?

Best of all, with yoga, everybody wins. No, that's not some sappy cop-out. One of the most difficult things for some men to accept about yoga is the idea of noncompeti-tiveness. Yoga has nothing to do with one-upmanship, so it would be against yoga's principles to say that the achievement of each new posture is another "point" for you. On the other hand, the achievement of each new posture is like a point against the other team—the suffering, illusion, and illness team. If you can see yoga as a competition against negativity rather than a competition against another person (because that would be like competing with your own team members), then maybe you can fit your competitive nature comfortably into yoga after all.

Although you may not be one of them, some men (and women, and kids) get discouraged easily when they aren't immediately skilled at an activity. If yoga is difficult for you at first, the hardest part of all may be adjusting your thinking. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Even though you're on the same "team" as your fellow yogis, in another sense, you are alone in your journey. Only you can determine what your body can do now and what it will be able to do after further progress. Don't punish yourself or criticize yourself for being unable to accomplish an exercise. Cultivate patience with yourself and your body, and your body will respond in ways you never thought it could.

And when your workout is over, especially if it's a hot summer day, why not pull out all the stops, fill up a bucket with water, and pour it over your own head! You deserve it!

These Muscles Don't Stretch

Another problem men commonly have with yoga is their lack of flexibility. From an early age, men are often encouraged to gain strength, but strength without stretching causes muscles to shorten, even if they gain bulk. The strongest man in the world may not be able to touch his toes.

"But the strongest man in the world looks great!" you may protest. "And who needs to touch his toes, anyway?" Flexibility is important for men for several reasons:

>- Flexible bodies are most resistant to injury. Tendons and muscles become more elastic and can bend farther without tearing.

>- Getting up in the morning is a lot easier, and your body is less stiff when you have good flexibility.

>- Adding flexibility to your workout gives you a three-pronged approach to physical fitness: strength training, cardiovascular training, and flexibility training.

This approach is more holistic, developing all aspects of your physical body and maintaining a healthier balance.

>- If you're ever forced to sit on the floor for a long period of time, you won't mind as much.

>- A flexible body encourages a flexible mind.

>- Flexibility can make sex a lot more fun! (Isn't that reason enough all by itself?)

Just remember that yoga can do great things for your health and your life. The exercises will tone and strengthen your body in ways that are both different and complementary to your other physical activities. Or if you're sedentary, yoga is a great way to move into a physical lifestyle. Yoga's deep-breathing exercises and meditation can also be new ways for you to discover the limitless possibilities of your body and mind. Give it a try—and welcome to the team!

A Yoga Minute

The following are two styles of yoga for yoguys (and yogals!) who are looking for physical challenges:

>• Ashtanga Yoga literally means the "Eight Limbs of Yoga," as defined by Patanjali in his Yoga Sutra. However, it has come to be seen in our society as a Hatha Yoga practice that includes an intense vinyasa workout (see Chapter 16, "A Continuous Flow").

>• Power Yoga (see The Complete Idiot's Guide to Power Yoga and Beryl Bender Birch's book, Power Yoga) is a specific, highly athletic form of yoga that is based on the Western conception of Ashtanga Yoga. It includes high-intensity, choreographed sequences of postures combined with breath and is quite popular among athletes and others seeking a physically demanding workout.

Here are some good yoga exercises for yoguys:

>- Those who require cardiovascular exertion. Look for Power Yoga or Ashtanga classes in your area, or invent some challenging vinyasa for yourself (see Chapter 16).

>- Sitting postures that increase flexibility in the legs and hips, such as the hero and butterfly pose (see Chapter 17, "Are You Sitting Down?").

>- Standing postures to increase your confidence when it seems like you can't get your body to do anything, such as the mountain; warrior 1, 2, and 3; and lightning bolt (see Chapter 13, "What Do You Stand For?").

>- Inversions to replenish and balance your entire body, such as the bridge, shoul-derstand, headstand, and handstand (see Chapter 15, "Come on, Body, Let's Do the Twist").

>- Shavasana (see Chapter 19, "Dead to the World"). The corpse pose may be incredibly challenging for you, because ironically, it isn't challenging! (Well, not in the typical sense.) Practicing shavasana may be the one time in your day when you can completely release challenges and simply "be." Completely relaxing your body and mind isn't as easy as it sounds. Even if you love a good challenge, remember that you need to maintain inner balance. Life isn't always challenging, nor should it be. Maybe you yearn for a space in your life without challenges. Shavasana—indeed, all of yoga—can be that space.

>- Any others that look interesting or fun to you!

And gentlemen, no matter how self-sufficient you are, consider taking a yoga class, because a yoga class is a place where you can go just for yourself. A lot of men are used to exercising in groups, but yoga lets you move, breath, and think without reference to anyone else. Taking a class will give your practice structure, plus the chance to really learn about yourself—not in terms of how others see you, but in terms of who you really are.

Spirituality: Not a Matter of Gender

Remember yoga's traditional, ultimate purpose? Yoga was designed to help discipline the body so it doesn't get in the way of the mind. Meditation can be an important part of a yoga journey, but even if you don't sit for 20 minutes a day chanting "Om," you can still live your life in a more spiritual manner.

But do you want to live more spiritually? What does "spiritual" mean for guys? The same thing it means for anyone! Life is mysterious, beautiful, sometimes sorrowful, sometimes joyful. Bad things happen, good things happen—or at least, things happen we tend to label "bad" or "good." No matter who you are or what gender you happen to be, yoga encourages you to embrace your life and live it with respect, reverence, contentment, and in harmony with everyone and everything else on the planet.

So remember, guys: Yoga isn't just about exercise, although it can really enhance your physical life. Yoga is about the whole you. Women may tend to talk about emotional issues more, but that doesn't mean guys don't think about the big questions. Yes,

we're on to you! And some of you, we know, are very interested in talking about the things that make life worth living: What is truth, how can I find meaning, how can I be a better person, how can I improve the world, how can I nurture joy and happiness within myself, among my friends, within my family?

A Yoga Minute

In his book Sacred Sexuality, Georg Feuerstein writes:

"Today, adventurers of the spirit who boldly scale the mountain of self-discipline and self-transcendence are as good as extinct. We have too limited a view of our human-ness; hence we also have too limited a view of our own sexuality. Yet we cannot live fully as sexual-erotic beings without first recovering our spiritual depth. Our sexuality can help us get in touch again with that depth; it can serve as a gateway to the spiritual dimension."

It all comes down to balance. If you tend to be a physical kind of guy, great! But don't neglect your mind, your feelings, and your spiritual search for self-knowledge and universal truth. And if you are the cerebral type or the emotional type or the philosophical type who sits around thinking about truth quite a bit and struggling to find it in your own life, great! But don't neglect the needs and potential of your physical self, which can be optimized through a vigorous Hatha Yoga practice.

Guys, we are all sentient beings, and when you step way back and look at the big picture, none of us is all that different. In fact, we're all beautifully similar, even as we retain our individuality. Each and every one of us is worth becoming the best whole self we can be. Respect and honor your own path, and the paths of others, and you'll be on your way to fulfilling your greatest potential.

Kids take naturally to yoga because it's so much fun. Getting the whole family involved in a yoga routine is a great way to keep you motivated. When your whole family practices yoga together, the family bond is strengthened. Everyone learns more about the other family members—what they can and can't do, what they like and dislike, how they like to play. Love is built on intimacy like this, and yoga offers the perfect environment to cultivate and nurture family intimacy.

Yokids

Turn Off the TV and Play!

Kids today watch a lot of television and play a lot of video games. Sure, some television is stimulating and offers children valuable information. But healthy kids are built from exercise, nutritious food, and imaginative play. Encourage your kids to turn off the tube and get moving, using both their bodies and their minds more actively. Interacting with you and with each other (other siblings or friends) builds children's social skills and teaches them much more about the world than any half-hour sitcom or 60-minute talk show.

The Lessons Yoga Teaches Kids

Yoga teaches kids valuable lessons about life. You'll probably teach your children all of the following in one way or another, but yoga can deepen and reinforce all of these healthy and life-affirming ideas:

>- Exercise is fun!

>- Exercise equals Active Play.

>- When the body and the mind combine into imagination, there are no limits.

>- Things that are good for you don't have to be unpleasant—they can actually be the highlights of your day!

>- "Feeling" like different animals and objects such as trees makes children more sensitive, not only to their own bodies, but to all our fellow inhabitants of the earth.

>- Families that play together understand each other better.

>- The earth and all its creatures have a lot to teach us about how to move and how to live.

>- Sometimes it's fun to be quiet, still, and reflective.

>- Kids can learn to be patient, too.

>- Your body is your friend, ally, and instrument.

Yoga for All Ages and Stages

Yoga is both fun and beneficial for kids of any age. You can do yoga with your newborn infant, your toddler, your preschooler, your kindergartner, your fourth-grader, your eighth-grader, your high school sophomore, your high school graduate. Older kids often enjoy establishing and growing in an individual yoga practice, too. If you've set them on the yoga path, chances are they'll continue it on their own. What a great gift to give your child!

But yoga is a little different, depending on the age of your child. Infant yoga is, naturally, a completely different kind of practice than yoga for teens. In general, encourage younger kids to talk, respond, and flex their imaginations while practicing yoga (except during meditation, which should be quiet and focused for all). Teens may appreciate a more internalized practice, or maybe not, if they are practicing yoga with a group of friends.

Let's look briefly at some yoga approaches for kids of all ages. Also feel free to adapt any of the basic poses in this book in ways that are fun (and safe) for your child's developmental level. For a whole book on yoga for kids, check out The Complete Idiot's Guide to Yoga with Kids by Jodi B. Komitor and Eve Adamson.

Baby Love

Babies are great for cuddling, but they make great yogis, too! Babies do some yoga poses all on their own—like the cobra pose, when they look up from a prone position to find the source of a noise. Babies naturally push and test their bodies so they can develop their muscles, mobility, coordination, and dexterity. And you can help your infant optimize this development with some simple yoga moves. Have fun; listen to your baby; and keep the attitude loving, gentle, and responsive.

Put your daughter on her back on a blanket, smile, tell her you are going to do some yoga, then gently take one of her feet in your hand. Wiggle each toe, flex and point her foot, rotate her ankle, flex and straighten her knee, flex and straighten her hip. Move her leg around and around. Pretend her leg is a tree swaying in the breeze (tell her all about it!), or the neck of a loping giraffe, or a slithery snake, or a regal flamingo. Have fun! Then do the same thing on the other leg and each arm. Let your imagination suggest ideas for what your baby's arms and legs could be as you move each limb through its range of motion.

Turn your baby gently onto her stomach, and using a rattle or your voice, make a noise above her head until she moves her eyes or head, or (if developmentally appropriate) she pushes herself up to see what all the commotion is about. Let her see you or the rattle, and smile.

Babies can even do shavasana! Place your son on his back and give him a gentle massage, starting at his feet and working your way around his limbs, then gently rubbing his chest, tummy, and head. Ah, now that's one relaxed baby! (Shh—lights out!)

Toddler Time!

Toddlers are finally able to do yoga poses on their own, although occasionally they will need help from you to figure out how to get into a pose. Toddlers love poses that move, make noise, and help them expend that immense toddler energy. Who knows ... you may end up with fewer tantrums on your hands!

Here are a few fun toddler poses to try:

>- A Roar, and More! Everyone get on the hands and knees, sit back on the heels, stick the tongue out as far as possible, and look up. You're all lions, so everybody roar!

>- Hop to It! Everyone squat down on the floor and hop around like frogs. A few "ribbits" offered up to the heavens never hurt anyone.

>- Flower Power. Everyone curl up on the ground like seeds, then imagine being watered and the sun shining. Slowly expand, then rise up out of the ground. Slowly, now! Gradually get taller and taller until head, face, and arms open up into a beautiful bloom.

Peppy Preschoolers

Preschoolers have super-powered imaginations and are developing the coordination, flexibility, and balance to accomplish even more yoga poses. While preschoolers would also enjoy the toddler poses in the preceding section, the following poses are great fun for preschoolers, too, and use preschool skills toddlers haven't quite mastered.

>- Mountain's Majesty. Stand as in the classic mountain pose (Chapter 13). Ask your kids what it feels like to be a mountain. What kind of mountain are they? Rocky and imposing? Rounded, green foothills? Volcano? Is anybody about to explode?

>- Be the Tree. Everyone stand firmly rooted with both feet on the ground (unlike the classic tree pose on one foot). Now let your kids feel how the weather is gradually changing: from sunny and still to windy to blustery to an all-out thunderstorm. How do all the trees shift and move with the weather? Have everyone make appropriate wind and leaf-rustling sounds. Is that a tornado? Woahhhhh! (Don't be surprised if a few trees fall over!)

>- Pretty Kitties. Now be a bunch of cats. Notice how cats move differently than dogs. Lie down. Stretch out. Stand up. Streeeeetch! Try to feel the way a cat feels and move the way a cat moves.

Kids in grade school are learning machines, so you can take advantage of those burgeoning minds to really expand the possibilities of a yoga practice. As kids progress through grade school, they become increasingly independent, but you should try to continue practicing with them. A family that practices yoga together is making memories to last a lifetime!

>- For the birds. Each person choose a type of bird, then practice standing, hopping, and flying like that bird. Notice how a sparrow is different from a great blue heron, a mockingbird different from a vulture, a hummingbird different from an eagle. (And remind your kids—birds don't bump into each other!)

Yoga K-6

>- Dog days. Have a dog party! Everyone chooses a dog, whether poodle or St. Bernard. Run, play, pant, play, roll over, play, and play like the dog you have chosen.

>- Invent your own nature poses. The possibilities are endless.

>- Kids can also learn breathing exercises. But keep it simple. Have kids rest their hands on your stomach to feel how your stomach moves gently when you bring your breath lower. Then have them try this on each other. Ask them if they remember when they were sleeping in the crib and their tummies moved up and down. Ask them to pretend they are in the crib now.

>- Kids can even meditate! Have kids sit quietly and focus on a pleasant object, like a flower, a small figurine, or a toy. At first, rather than stress the absence of thought, suggest that your kids focus on one single feeling, such as love, happiness, or peacefulness. When thoughts arise, refocus on how the feeling feels instead.

Teen Yogis

Teenagers can gain great benefit from a regular yoga practice, which will help to keep them physically fit, strong, flexible, and confident. The self-esteem teens can gain from yoga may be the most important benefit of all. Yoga can also help kids develop self-discipline and gain control over their bodies, which are subject to intense hormonal fluctuations and strong emotions during these years.

Teens can do any of the yoga poses adults can do, and often more of them, since teens still have a degree of flexibility adults have allowed to slip away. Encourage your teens to read this book and work through it—with you, on their own, or both. Let yoga be a connection between you and an avenue for communication. Even if they don't always show it, your teens want to connect with you and need to maintain that bond as they move toward becoming adults themselves.

Lots of yoga poses can be adapted to become group poses. Be a mountain range, a forest of trees, a pack of dogs, a circle of cobras, a school of fish, or a field of cows. Be heroes together in hero pose, form a circle of tortoises, or bob like boats on an open sea in boat pose.

Some yoga poses can be linked. Sit in a meditation circle holding hands, go foot-to-foot in boat pose, head-to-head in fish pose, or rest heads on each other's stomachs in shavasana. Combine poses like the downward facing dog over the plank pose, balance the tree pose by standing back-to-back with the mountain pose, or do vinyasa like the sun salutation in unison. The possibilities are endless! Flip through this book for ideas, and have a great time.

And at the end of your family yoga session, a group hug!

If you start to hear whines and complaints or sense any reluctance, boredom, or frustration in your kids during your yoga practice, either adjust activities immediately or stop. You don't want to make yoga a negative experience for kids. Fun yoga now could mean a lifetime love of yoga. Yoga that is boring or authoritarian may turn kids off for good. Never push a child into a pose. To kids, poses are play. You might want to try this with your own yoga practice, too! Have fun!

Family Yoga

Ouch!

The Least You Need to Know

>- Men can be great yogis—why not take a class?

Yoga can help overcome feelings of aggression, competition, or general dissatisfaction by offering a satisfying and whole-self physical and spiritual path.

Kids—from infants to teens—can do yoga and learn to love it for a lifetime.

Practice yoga as a family to build memories that will last a lifetime.